The Weight

I can’t bring myself to say anything nice about Robbie Robertson, who wrote The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down.

1969 marked the rise of a southern inflected Americana in “hip” popular culture—Dylan’s Nashville Skyline was released that same year. On the folk side, it departed from the protest music of the Phil Ochs, the Weavers, the early Dylan. On the blues side, it left behind the intense experimentation that came out of Muddy Waters and led to Hendrix.

The southern-inflected Americana was mellower than those styles, it hit savory notes of homecoming and rightful place,; it wasn’t threatening or jazzy or strident. The 60s were becoming the 70s. Hippiedom had leaked from the college campuses and artists’ ghettos; a lot of regular guys came back from ‘Nam and found they couldn’t fit in either, grew their hair out, and pretty soon you couldn’t really be sure that someone who wore long hair and beads and smoked dope was actually aligned with the values in the Port Huron Statement. Politically, they could be anywhere, and you might be rebelling against anything, or nothing.

And soon after there was country rock and southern rock and Olivia Newton John. And the revolution was postponed; it was over really, and Nixon’s men would soon be Ford’s, and then Reagan’s, and (some of them) eventually Trump’s men.

If I was charitable (or as charitable as I ever get) I could dismiss Robertson as just an ignorant Canadian, a commercial opportunist cashing in on a reactionary trend, like so many smart and ambitious people do when a nation drifts toward fascism.

Except I can’t be charitable, here, I have to be pissy and damning, because there are, out there, white folks whose need for feelings of comfort and reassurance outweigh any moral sensibility, and who will, as a result, make excuses for that song, or even for (God help us) Sweet Home Alabama, which sound the same notes as the lame excuses you’ll hear many white people make for Trump supporters (because they’re low-information or tied to the land and have economic anxiety, or something).

Those excuses reveal what “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” reveals, which is not only latent longing for a more potent and virile white supremacy, but something deeper in the souls of white folk: A craving for a fake version of authenticity that can paper over the deep-down inauthenticity that defines them.

You see, the Canadian Robertson’s latching on to Americana was a cynical cashing in, but it was much more than that, it was an ingestion and spewing out of the endless lie that is the American South itself, the lie that imbues every twangy syllable, every fatty overly salted meal, every exhausted acre of farmland. Just this week, it had to be said that no, there is no redeeming quality to the history of slavery. None. And there is no genuine authenticity to be had in any of its trappings.

No matter how you try to twist it.

There is great power in throwing it all away, in finally dismissing that fake Southern white bid for authenticity, in dismissing all of it, for what it was and is. And that power is to be allowed to seek something new, a new grit and authenticity in the American soul, one that recognizes the Southern white lie, calls it out, stamps on it, and then looks forward to something better.

(Crossposted to DailyKos, where it generated some interesting discussion.)

Healing and Toxic Positivity

Retirement, career change, aging, call it what you will. I’m experiencing those changes, I’m feeling addled, or wiser. Call that what you will, too.

This morning, an article in the Washington Post. I so admire Deb Haaland, and I admire Joe Biden for appointing her. She’s sitting in long public meetings, taking testimony about the collective trauma suffered by indigenous people.

On this Saturday in June, Haaland rarely spoke for hours, listening deep into the afternoon, thanking everyone for sharing their stories of brutality and grief. The tour is essential to her department’s mission; healing a constant in her conversation.

“In a way, we’re also healing our country. That history is American history,” she said a few days later in her Interior Department office, down a wide hall lined with portraits of past secretaries, almost all of them White men, almost all curiously painted indoors and devoid of sunlight. “It affects every single American. It affects you whether you realize it or not.”

My own life experience with trauma taught me: The trauma is bad, but you know what’s worse? The denial that follows, the covering up. As in: It didn’t happen, wasn’t that bad, shouldn’t be dwelled upon. Move on.

Because that denial follows up the trauma with othering, as in: This is your problem, this what makes you different from us, this is what makes you less than. Keep it to yourself.

Which makes much of social life, and especially social media, an immersion in a toxic stew of inauthentic positivity.

As I experience these changes, this mid-60s time of life, more and more I’m OK with not being OK. I’m kind of settling into it. I’m learning that healing is not at all about moving on, or returning to “normal,” it’s about coming to terms with what has been and what is.

And what I see in the culture at large is mindless frenzy, the collectively enforced positivity locking all of our faces in the same hideous grin.

Painfully fragile

A friend reposted this cartoon today. It’s from the 7/1/2015 New Yorker.

Let me deconstruct the experience here. Attention is first drawn to the child, and the carefree, joyous innocence of childhood. What could possibly be wrong with a parent’s impulse to protect that innocence?

Then, in the caption, the innocence is revealed as a shameful lie: The carefree moment on the swing is steeped in—inseparable from—the injustice of racism.

It is the parent speaking, of course. These “wonderful, precious years” are not only the child’s, but the parent’s too, because the parent is experiencing (and appreciating) this carefree, joyous innocence in the context of their privileged white family. And what could be wrong with appreciating the safety, security, and uplift that one derives from family?

The cartoon illustrates how whiteness imposes inauthenticity. Innocence, joy, family, security, are conferred to us by an unfair society. When we celebrate what we have, we are must either ignore that unfairness, and thereby magnify it, or else taint our happy moment with an acknowledgement of the unfairness. This mother’s statement in the caption is performative, dour—a come down.

And inescapable.

Can we learn to appreciate our privilege—including wholeheartedly living moments like the one represented in the cartoon—and simultaneously revile our privilege? And do so without irony?

What happens inside you during these moments?

Why they chant: USA! USA!

US Representatives Marjorie Taylor Greene and George Santos showed up in NYC, outside Donald Trump’s arraignment, on this day, April 4, which happens to be the 55th anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King.

Here is the key fact that most people on our side—the side for democracy and against authoritarianism—will miss about the spectacle.

I could start by saying “The lying is the point,” which is to say that Trump and Greene and Santos and their supporters don’t really believe what they claim to believe. They know it’s all a lie, that Trump is a liar, and what they are defending, there on the streets, is not so much the content of the lie, it is the act of lying itself.

I believe I know this from having grown up in the 1960s south, where everything that white southerners had to say about Black people—most of it horrendously racist, of course—was not really a matter of belief, but a matter of saying, like a school song or an incantation. The act was to repeat the lies; the purpose of the act was to have the power to be gained by repeating the lies. The falsity of what was being repeated gave the act more power, not less, because it takes a commitment to tell a lie, and the power derived from telling the same lie all together is what has held their version of America together since before its founding. The point of repeating the lie is not to express a mistaken belief, nor to convince anyone that the lie is truth but—much more effectively—to entice and browbeat others to join them in repeating a lie known to be false. This is a necessary feature of a truly brutal society.

That is why the small but dedicated crowd of pro-Trumpers gathered outside the arraignment was yelling “USA! USA!” It is a contentless chant, signifying nothing, and the phrase is equally available to either side, except that in context, as it is chanted at rallies and in stadiums, this is what “USA! USA!” means: We uphold the lie of white racial supremacy, even when we know that it is a lie, because we know the lie, and this group repetition of the lie, is what maintains our political power.

By the way, this is why those who don the trappings of red-staters—such as guys who equip their pickup truck with a gun rack and confederate flag sticker and listen to country music and speak with a drawl—this is why those guys come off as authentic. Almost everything they believe is a lie, and they know that what they believe is a lie. But they are genuine in the sense that they are fully committed to upholding their lies, to the point of never showing any doubt, which is easy for them, because their deeply held emotional commitment to lying effectively crowds out any other thoughts they might have about this subject, or just about any other subject for that matter.

Compare this to the painful-to-witness inauthenticity of characters like David Brooks. Brooks knows, just as well as any gun-toting Trumper does, that the ideology of white supremacy is a lie, but instead repeating this lie in a simple and earnest way, endeavors to find some way to make it palatable—to top the lie with enough refined sugar to make it pass for the truth. For example, when the extreme right targeted “wokeness,”— known and defined by both sides as “…the belief there are systemic injustices in American society and the need to address them” (to quote an aide to DeSantis)—Brooks recharacterized and redefined “woke” as a tool of elite Democrats. In this way he aims for a middle ground, neither too far left nor too far right, where he can enjoy the power of the lie and the mantle of the truth at the same time. This inauthenticity is why the so called “moderate” right has no political traction at present.

Which brings me to lessons for our side, the side for democracy and against authoritarianism. The Trumpers are making a last stand, or feel they are making a last stand, for the cause of white supremacy and against the cause of equality. Fact is, no one really knows what a post-white America will look like or be like. This uncertainty can make us falter, hedge our bets, step back when we should stand up. And I see it in my cohort, among progressives generally: a desire to return to some kind of imagined normalcy, sometimes a personal flight to safety, or a dismissal of politics or political possibilities.

But we can win only by finding truths and advancing those truths together, and with common fervor. It’s a hard job, but not impossible. Perhaps we can start by each looking at our own fears, our own individual hesitation to be bold and radical in asserting a social justice agenda, and by reassessing our strategy toward most white Americans, who continue to stand firmly for lying and for the lie of white supremacy.

It does no good to tell the truth to a knowing liar. Instead, it is necessary to convince them of the futility of continuing to repeat what they know is a lie.

Learning the craft

Here’s a great thing about learning the craft of writing: It’s completely OK to charge ahead, even when you don’t know what you’re doing.

This makes it very different from engineering, or from fixing houses or cars, to use examples from my experience. In those endeavors, when you don’t know what you’re doing, your supplies get ruined. You hurt your hands. You end up with something useless, or even dangerous.

But in writing, you’ve lost some time and some paper, and you’ve gained perspective and experience that really help when you get around to studying and learning from people who know more than you do.

It’s all right now, in fact it’s a gas (stove).

Republicans: Really, ban gas stoves? Outrageous! Intrusive!

Democrats: We’re not really proposing to ban gas stoves. Well, at least not right away.

The Republicans’ outrage is performative. The Democrats’ response is weak, unconvincing, entrapped.

What causes this? It’s not just the Democrats’ messaging, as bad as it’s been. We’re working from a bad paradigm, an outdated framework for our understanding.

The paradigm for environmental health, and environmental protection, posits an ideal, “healthy” condition. The news is almost always about a departure from the ideal.

Like the effect of gas stoves on asthma. The story? One in eight cases of childhood asthma are caused by gas stoves.

Start with the Democrats’ well-meaning initiative. Yes, gas stoves contribute to indoor air pollution. Indoor air pollution disproportionately affects children in disadvantaged households and disadvantaged communities, because they are also affected by other sources of air pollution and respiratory stress. Facts.

But the narrative is based in grievance. Children ought to be protected from harm. They are not protected, and something must be done.

What if we placed the facts in a different narrative? Like:

“Technology for cooking at home continues to improve. Not that long ago, houses burned wood or coal for cooking. Piped-in gas was a big improvement: better air quality, fewer fires. Now we have hoods and ventilation and better yet, electric induction stoves that cook better and faster, and are safer and more convenient. Research shows that these technologies are very effective in protecting children’s lungs.

“It’s unfair and concerning that, while many families are investing in new technologies, others are unable to enjoy these benefits to their safety, to their health, and especially children’s health. We are looking for ways to accelerate the transition to healthier indoor air that everyone can enjoy.”

Same facts, but a different story—one that celebrates and motivates progress. And is much harder to oppose.

Why are “progressives” resistant to the narrative of progress and so immersed in our narrative of threat and grievance?

My take: Our privileged intelligentsia, even the most liberal of us, have a class-based bias against progress and change. The epoch of our privilege is waning. The demise of our privilege is hastened with each shift to new modes of producing and living: globalization, automation, and free flow of information. We tend to deny the massive progress in the overall human condition in recent decades, and substitute our own fears, when telling the story.

2023

Last May I applied for admission to San Francisco State University’s Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing Program. I started in mid-August and completed my first four courses in mid-December.

In 15 weeks I wrote three short stories, a dozen poems, and an evening-length play.

Grades are posted, and I’ve established that I can be a top-notch Creative Writing student. I’m aware that isn’t the same as being a writer.

Along with passion and discipline, writing requires an individual voice, and that requires (for me, anyway) some deep digging into my own psyche—a search for self, for authenticity.

I spent the holiday with my kid and her mom, road tripping in California, and during that time I read The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate (just out late last year). I’ve been helped by much of what he has to say. In particular I’ve benefitted particularly from his framework posing a tension, in the course of childhood development, between attachment and authenticity—and how this plays out throughout our lives when the Self becomes lost or buried as we struggle to ensure our safety and survival.

Nancy

It’s hard to express how much I admire Nancy Pelosi in this moment.

Her supporters—Democrats—have been divided and unreliable, summer soldiers, the kind of allies that are quick with a savage criticism, and who were often clueless about her accomplishments and what it took to achieve them.

Her detractors—Republicans—are fascists so extreme that, when one of them invaded her home to attack her, and maimed her husband, the others, united in their hatred (and being, as Republicans, quite uniform in personal character and ethics) could not find it in themselves to convincingly condemn the act.

So I regard Ms. Pelosi from that perspective, as a person who found herself called to service, and served, and did so almost solely by drawing on personal strength and commitment. The most public of public figures, she stood alone in the arena, and the least the rest of us can do is to credit her accomplishments fairly.

I will see a doctor when I need to, and she deserves my gratitude for that, as she does for getting me and all of us the aid we needed to survive the pandemic. And for renewing our nation’s infrastructure over the next decade. And for turning the tide in the effort to save the planet from climate disaster.

Go ahead, condition my praise, and criticize. Just take a moment to consider how that reflects on you, rather than her.

Divides and Illusions

Chris Ware’s drawing for the cover of the July 4 edition of the New Yorker promotes a illusory view of our politics. However, the drawing’s title shows the truth–perhaps unwittingly.

The drawing would have it that we are two tribes or subcultures, with our different slogans and clashing preferences in front-yard landscaping. This is illusion.

Consider that Black people, nationally, oppose Republican policies and Republican leaders by about 10 to 1. The divide is not among Americans generally, but among white Americans. The divide is not about slogans or landscaping; it is about whether Black people should have political power.

The drawing’s title, “House Divided” reveals the truth. The reference is to Lincoln:

A house divided against itself cannot stand. I believe this government cannot endure, permanently half slave and half free. I do not expect the Union to be dissolved – I do not expect the house to fall – but I do expect it will cease to be divided. It will become all one thing, or all the other.”

Indeed. In the coming months or years, we become a multiracial democracy–or regress into an authoritarian state based on white supremacy. That is the divide represented, and hidden, in the drawing.

Love and Work

I picked up Zoe from her day camp. She could have walked, but I was feeling kind of parental after taking her to a doctor’s appointment this morning, and so when I dropped her off, I agreed I’d be there at the end of her day.

On the way back home, she was showing me various fashion looks on her phone. I parked in the driveway, and we were having a nice conversation, but soon I noticed I had a work email and another email about planning an upcoming trip. Then I got antsy and felt I needed to get back to what I felt I needed to be doing.

She wasn’t feeling what I was feeling, and kept talking and not getting out the car, the way teenagers do, and finally I told her: Look, I have responsibilities, and you’re keeping me from getting to what I need to do.

As I was headed inside, I was musing about what Freud said, or might have said, about love and work being the cornerstone of our humanness, and it occurred to me: The man probably didn’t do much caregiving. And if he had, our whole understanding of human psychology might be different.

Because our humanness is really about taking care of babies and old people, and this applies to most of humanity over its entire history–with the notable exception of well-to-do men in Freud’s circumstances.

Caregiving, which has been the cornerstone of my own developing humanness, has its own satisfactions and frustrations, and these are different from Love (in the genital sense I think Freud was referring to, even if the quote itself is apocryphal).

And, as I found today, as I have found many times before, caregiving is antithetical to Work.